decorating is the worst thing in the world

EXPLAIN ME:
WHY IS PUTTING THINGS UP ON WALLS OR WINDOWS SO HARD????

I mean, it’s not a difficult concept: put some nails in, or maybe a screw and anchor if it’s heavy…how is it possible that I run into some kind of obstacle no matter where I drill? Statistically it seems unlikely that there is a stud or pipe or dead body or whatever behind EVERY inch of wall.

I spent all damn day on Sunday doing roller blind things. I don’t even want to talk about it. The point is only one rolls properly. Another one kinda rolls. The others make me want to burn the house down.

Did you know any idiot can go buy a hacksaw? I feel like I should not own this item. But I guess you need it to cut your roller blinds when the hardware stores only cut their own brand of things.


my frickin bedroom wall
FACT: Everything is held to the wall by my own seething rage.

Anyway, I try to hold onto the fact that I have successfully mounted the curtains and that bird picture, although I think I drilled a hole through the side of my house to the outside? I’m not sure.

I actually considered blogging my home improvement ridiculousness but these follies are too grand even for me; I don’t want people to know I’m THAT dumb. Maybe after I’ve achieved a basic level of competence so I can afford to have a sense of humor about it. Right now I am just so angry. So, so angry.

I have 3 roller blinds to go and another 4 to try and fix. Although 3 of them are in my roommate’s room, so maybe I don’t care because it’s not my room. :)

Anyway that’s what I’ve been up to. I try to spruce up the joint and then start drinking wine right out of the bottle, finally falling asleep on a bed of IKEA receipts. hashtag this is the life

abandoning art journal pages

I worked on this page over the course of a few days, which is usually not a great sign — generally speaking (for me personally), if I can’t get a page out in one sitting, it’s not going to work. I usually end up overworking whatever element I’m having trouble with and that’s exactly what happened here.

I went so far as to edit the video but I don’t think I’ll upload it because most of it is me trying and failing to get the right level of derp in her face. I’m very particular about my derp.

badspread1

badspread2

Too “Sound of Music”
Too derpy, even for me

I can usually tell a page is “done” when it becomes lifeless and/or overwrought – at the risk of sounding like a new age hippie I do feel a certain energy coming from the pages that are working; some just don’t feel like talking. This page was actually already a cover-up of something else — I think this particular portion of paper just doesn’t want to hang out. :)


1-23-14

How can you tell when a page is done? Do you just abandon it? (I sure do, and if I’m lucky it’s bad enough to be considered an Ugly Journal Page, a series I would like to do again soon!)

shelfies!

Michelle Ward has called people to post “shelfies,” which is what a sounds like…a selfie but for your shelves. :) I thought it sounded like a fun thing to do so here’s my little contribution! Here’s the original post if you want to check it out.


booksboth

This is what your ENTIRE book collection looks like when you a) move often and don’t want to lug crap around b) switch over to Kindle. I like having the anatomy/dance and cookbooks in physical format because they are easier to refer to. And some are just favorites that I saw no reason to get rid of.

JUNK

And this is what your shelves look like when you’ve just moved like 3 weeks ago and are too overwhelmed to put things on the wall or otherwise put things in places. Actually, as a result of taking this photo and feeling a little embarrassed about it, all the frames are on the wall and now these shelves are just kinda empty. :) I put the sword (not really visible due to the angle – the hilt is sticking into the blue bag) on the wall in view of the front door – it’s not really dangerous but people seem to fear it, so may as well use that to my advantage. hashtag home protection system

The one below is a little different but I wanted to include it just for the story and associated rambling tangents, starting with: So apparently my house has been through some tough times. The floors are the original hardwood from 1924 (!!!) but there are scrapes all over the place. According to the realtor when the house was vacant people broke in and dragged the radiators out, gouging the floor. The wood is very thin so they were only able to sand it down so much, so the scratches are still visible. I don’t mind it, it’s a little added character.

Then as I was moving in one of the neighbors wandered by and said that the house used to be occupied by “a buncha pedophiles” but the neighborhood ran them out. So the good news is I’m already a better neighbor than the previous occupants, what with the not being into kids and all.

Last Friday I ordered a pizza because I’m trying to establish a relationship with my local Papa John’s. They said it was going to take like an hour so when an unknown number called my phone like 20 minutes later I didn’t bother to pick up. Shortly after there was a knock on the door and it was pizza hooray! The guy then gave me a mini-lecture (albeit polite) about “ma’am, you gotta answer your phone” because apparently 5 years ago somebody was lured to my very address (vacant at the time) and beaten with a baseball bat. So, I gotta answer my phone.* He said it wasn’t a big deal this time and then left me with SEVEN GARLIC CUPS so clearly he was not that mad.


garliccups
(not pictured: the 2 I’ve already consumed)

That was my long-ass setup for a fridge shelfie. Yes, that’s the only thing in that drawer right now. I feel like I’m in college.

*= I mean, I could answer my phone AND beat him with a baseball bat; they are not really mutually exclusive. I’m not really sure what the reasoning was there.

Anyway. Vacant, alleged pedophiles (I don’t know how good that guy’s intel was), thieves, and thugs; the house has been through some ish and the neighborhood is somewhat transitioning but I think it’s on the up and up. Don’t worry house I will take care of you now. And I feel pretty safe here, especially since I found a baseball bat in my backyard. I assume it was some kid’s but it’s mine now. I would beat somebody with it but I answered my phone, so…

everybody has a damn blog

Growing up, I wrote on the interwebs pretty much all the time. I even got my parents to pay for a domain name (in retrospect I’m still not quite sure why they did, I guess to support my budding tech skills? I was really into building sites) and blogged before blogs were a thing; I was on scribble.nu (did anybody use that besides me and my middle school frenemy?), xanga, LJ (of course), all while still maintaining various domains (marzenie.com, witch-bottle.org, kiwi-tree.net…I don’t know where I came up with those names). And omylord the SUBDOMAINS. I had one just for my precious dream journal! I still have the screenshots of a lot of things, you know, for my design portfolio, in case anybody wants to do a retro-style website hard coded with iframes. Hahahaha omg iframes were my life.

iframes and offers to host other sites. back in my day we had to get domain owners to host our sites because blog platforms DIDN'T EXIST AT ALL
iframes and offers to host other sites. back in my day we had to get domain owners to host our sites because blog platforms DIDN’T EXIST AT ALL

Anyway, that’s just me establishing my cred and reminiscing about Angelfire.

I was wondering why I’ve been so reluctant to return to blogging. I simultaneously miss the feeling but dread being on the internet in this capacity. But uhh didn’t I do it for my entire angsty teenage life? I didn’t even have anything interesting to say. Not that I necessarily do now but at least I do more things besides just sitting around watching HIM videos.

I think it’s because everybody else has a god damn blog. There are two issues: the big one is that now that we’re “all” here, it’s way more likely that somebody I know will find me. Because CLEARLY I am so scandalous! I actually write exactly like I speak (hence all the random commas) so anybody who knows me in real life would be totally bored anyway, especially since I probably already told them about the thing I’m blogging about. So that one is just irrational I guess.

But I think the biggest one is that, because everybody has their own blog, there is this weird feeling I get that you have to have a “thing.” The generic online journal is so 1998 and a lot of the blogs I frequent are very focused on one thing.

Everybody also writes in single lines.

Because each line is so

weig
        h
           t
            y

that it needs its own space.

[INSTAGRAM PHOTO OF TEA]

So like, I don’t know what my blog should be “about,” I guess it’s about art journaling but HORRIBLE CONFESSION I really don’t think about art all the time. I don’t go for meandering walks every day (do these people not have jobs or what’s the deal with all the walking?) and take pictures of pine needles so I can wax poetic about how the pine is like, some.. like. I don’t know. life metaphor. evergreens and renewal, you know whatever. BRB steeping tea

I probably sound mad but I ain’t mad. I just think it’s kind of amusing that everybody’s unique voice sounds so similar. :) And I guess I am trying to say that I would like to blog again, but this blog isn’t going to be “about” anything. I’ll continue to post my AJ videos because I like doing that, and maaaaaybe wax poetic about a rock I found on a meandering walk that I went on during my day off, but I also reserve the right to talk about what I ate for dinner.

This was a long way of saying I miss LiveJournal. Whoomp Whoomp. ;)

omg. I’m going through screenshots of my old layouts… pure gold. You can’t deny I had an aesthetic (whether it was good or not….) I was VERY proud of the one below; I spent hours making the header image (teaching myself how to work with layers).


golden

i ain’t even mad

I got a house

This past summer it seemed like everybody I knew was going back to school, getting married, having babies, etc (in the case of one overachieving friend, she got an MBA and a baby within a few months of each other) — not that I necessarily want those things at this point but everybody seemed to be doing big things. So I was like NUH UH I CAN MAKE BIG DECISIONS TOO and decided to start house hunting.

Of course there was a bit more to the decision than that – I’ve been here for over 6 years and renting that whole time. I have no idea what I’ll be doing down the line but based on the information I have now I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere anytime soon so… why not pay rent to myself interest to a bank instead? Equity and all that. Plus I can paint my room weird colors.


I like stars but also I like signaling to the neighborhood that somebody lives here so stop leaving your trash in my garden (mulch pile) please.

I actually almost bought a dump, which I knew was a dump, because it was very close to the Avenue in Hampden (a hipstery/cool place to be). I even got as far as offer acceptance but we did the home inspection and the place was even worse than it looked. As in: the joist holding up the living room was cracked; the masonry in the basement was crumbling; little things like, I dunno, fire hazards. The guy (a former slum lord retiring from slum lording) was not willing to fix everything and even if he did the workmanship would probably be awful.

Rather than buy a money pit I backed out and the very next day toured this house. It’s a rehab for which I have a whole new appreciation after seeing that other house’s guts. The following day I put in an offer. There was some haggle so I ended up accepting a bit more than I offered — BUT, this house was rehabbed as part of a healthy neighborhoods initiative, and apparently they have some metric that prevents them from charging over a certain ratio…I’m not sure what exactly, alls I know is, like a week later I got a call that they had to amend the purchase price to what I initially offered. :)

So I figured that meant it was meant to be. The neighborhood is new and strange to me but seems very peaceful – one of my neighbors has been here for 30 years. There are big established trees (not so impressive in the winter, but I’m looking forward to spring!) and I’m like 5 minute walk from Giant which is bad for my random nacho cravings. But good lord people here are litterbugs. Somebody left a toilet (??) on the side of my house — apparently if you think a house is vacant it’s OK to dump your shit there.

Fun fact: I’ve never lived in the same house for more than 4 years. EVAR! so I’m aiming for 5 in this one. It feels weird/good to “decide” to stay — even though I’ve already been here 6 years, when you move every year (every. year.) it doesn’t feel so established.

This has caused general re-evaluation of my life, particularly dance and my overall life balance. I haven’t been journaling in ANY capacity for months and months and months. It’s a shame and makes me sad face. :( (see). I’m burning out big time on dance because I don’t have any boundaries and I constantly feel like I’m “working.” I’ve started phoning it in which is very bad. My 2014 classes start up in a few weeks and my student troupe already has a performance commitment in March…so I’m thinking I’ll finish out the spring “semester” and re-evaluate come summer. I’m taking on fewer performances and focusing on teaching (which is what I really like anyway), and making more of a commitment to journaling/art. Maybe actually start writing on this blog again. :) I think that’ll help balance me out.

Anyway the point is I don’t have an art journal page for you. ;) But, for the first time in a few years, I have a comfortable art space so I think you’ll be seeing more from me. Yeahhhhhh vague promises

rehabbed journal pages

rehabpage1a-small

I forgot to take a pic at the beginning – before the faces were added it was just the brown/blue and some random doodles (including a mermaid flexing her biceps, natch).

rehabpage1b-small

rehabpage2a-small

I guess this would be a good future candidate for an ugly journal page post, but I decided to go over it instead. :)

rehabpage2b-small

i’ve also been waiting forever and even stopped waiting and got donuts

this plane is OVER

everything totally unfolds as it should

semantics

F yeah new age pep talks

No experience is a waste; it all becomes part of the intricate tapestry that makes you who you are….is what I tell myself when I think of all the time I spent on that damn thing

damn it not again

is this thing on?

collage_2

I can’t finish anything in my journal. I’m OK with the unfinished pages but it makes for bad videos. :) I am keeping busy with dance but I do miss taking the time to sit and do art junk. Now that I recovered my password to log back into this site (lolz) I’m going to try to consider possibly recommitting to this whole thang. If I feel like it. :P

where my creative energies have gone

My student troupe! Choreographing a “steampunk” piece is really hard because uhhh there isn’t much basis for comparison. I am happy with how this piece came together – especially because many of the funny stuff (well, I thought it was funny) was not originally choreographed but arose out of the stuff my students were doing. This was a big experiment in loosey-goosey choreography (among other things): setting a framework for people to be spontaneous/improvise rather than choreographing every step (given that we are drunken airship pirates, loosey-goosey is pretty appropriate). I think they really pulled it off!! I am actually performing WITH them this weekend at a steampunk convention (the original reason for the creation of this set) — I usually don’t perform with them because I like students to have their own special space, but we are going to be missing somebody and rather than restage the whole thing I’m just going to jump in. Hopefully I will do as good a job. ;)