marizateria.com

Archive for November, 2009

no time for creativity

I am too busy playing Mass Effect.

Mass Effect 2 comes out in January, so you understand the pressure I am under to complete the first one. :) Also, you can customize your character, so obviously Commander Shepherd is a badass lady in my version. I find action games somewhat stressful because I’m really terrible at combat, but after playing for a few minutes I got sucked into the storyline enough that I’m powering through all the explosions. :P My brother got me started on it – he cracked me up because I asked him if there was a lot of shooting and he said no. When I complained about all the shooting/combat that started like 2 minutes in, he insisted that this game is not a first person shooter and therefore it doesn’t count somehow. Thanks, guy. Ha. Anyway, I need to know what happens to humanity so I guess I’ll have to put up with a little (third person) combat.

On Sunday I played Loom, a game from 1990 that I played when I was little. It only took me a few hours because, even after all these years, I still remembered how to get through all the obstacles – probably because I spent so damn long trying to figure them out in the first place! (Hint: Dye all the sheep green so they blend in with the field and the dragon won’t eat them) Loom was a really interesting game where you had no inventory and instead manipulated things around you by weaving songs (“drafts”) on your distaff (which you usually learned by listening to/observing other objects that gave off the notes). My favorite part is how you can reverse the drafts by playing them backwards – so you can twist or untwist, fill or empty (or un-empty, I guess). Long story short, Bishop Mandible wants to raise an army of dead and in doing so tears the fabric of reality and allows Chaos (or “Choas,” as it is spelled in my version) to escape and cause trouble. You can patch up some of the tears (using the reverse of the “open” draft, obviously) but the game ends (OMG SPOILER ALERT for a game that is almost 20 years old) with a really open end where your Weaver guild says they will repair their part of the pattern and return. Obviously Loom 2 never came about.

This scared the crap out of me when I was little (start at like 7 minutes):

I’ve already briefly talked about video games as art (or at least vehicles for storytelling) sooo….therefore this post is relevant to this blog. Somehow. Loom is still awesome, they had some great ideas.

Speaking of games as art, here is something that I just found out about today due to a ridiculous wikipedia chain: Super Columbine Massacre RPG!


TBH I don’t really have any desire to play the game so I can’t really comment, but I was reading about it with great interest. From the artist’s statement:

The lingering question—that grand burning query so many have tried to answer—is one I believe this game allows us to at least access in a more honest way. Beyond the simple platitudes and panaceas of gun control, media ratings/censorship, bully prevention programs, and parental supervision remains a glaring possibility: that the society we have created is deeply moribund. This game asks more of its audience than rudimentary button-pushing and map navigation; it implores introspection. This is why the game’s forum is equally important to the SCMRPG project. Through it, people from six continents and all walks of life are discussing the game itself and the incident it is based on. Some of them confess childhood pain or share personal feelings on the shooting. Some of them sustain vulgar diatribes or accuse the creator of wrongdoing. Some of them discuss the game’s social implications in a broader context. At the end of the day, the understanding of the Columbine school shooting is deepened and redefined. That is the real object of the game.

Games as social commentary y/n? This was created with RPG Maker, a program that allows anybody to make a game (albeit a cartoony one). I think my brother had a copy of it once. Anyway, as things like this become more available, I do think we’ll see more stuff like this and I’m interested to see where it’ll go. I’m sure a lot of it will be tasteless (or worse) but we’ll probably get some good stuff out of it too (I haven’t played this particular one so I can’t say which one it is).

visionary art

Finally working for my company has paid off – employees got 2 free admissions to the American Visionary Art Museum with our badges this weekend. The museum, as the name implies, specifically showcases “visionary art,” defined on the museum’s website as:

Like love, you know it when you see it. But here’s the longer definition, straight out of our Mission Statement: “Visionary art as defined for the purposes of the American Visionary Art Museum refers to art produced by self-taught individuals, usually without formal training, whose works arise from an innate personal vision that revels foremost in the creative act itself.” In short, visionary art begins by listening to the inner voices of the soul, and often may not even be thought of as ‘art’ by its creator.

They are also careful to differentiate between folk art and visionary art, since the two are sometimes very similar:

The essential difference between the two, though both may at times use similar materials and methods, is that visionary artists don’t listen to anyone else’s traditions. They invent their own. They hear their own inner voice so resoundingly that they may not even think of what they do as ‘art.’ Dubuffet’s beloved Art Brut Collections, formed exclusively from the “raw art” creations of non-artists, such as street people, hermits, factory workers, housewives and psychic mediums, motivated him to say: “Art is at its best when it forgets its very name.” It is this listening to one’s inner voice with such focused attention that contributes to the unusually large number of visionary art works -many of which took decades to create. Yet there are still common threads. The most common theme of visionary artists worldwide is the backyard recreation of the Garden of Eden and other utopian visions -quite literally building heaven on earth.

Since they favor untrained artists, the pieces there are really raw and powerful. The whole museum is like a testament to the human need for expression and creativity. And, as the quote above mentions with the “utopian visions” thing, a need to create a better world, even if only on this tiny scale.

The current exhibit (it’s easier just to cut/paste, sorry for all the quotes [not really]):

Life, Liberty & the Pursuit of Happiness
October 3, 2009 – September 5, 2010

“The quest for human rights and the search for personal fulfillment, as proposed in the 1776 American Declaration of Independence, provide the starting point for this international exhibition. Works by the last surviving descendant of the Tsars of Russia, Iroquois Indians, French Revolutionaries, illegal immigrants, Algerian War veterans, Guantanamo Bay detainees, Holocaust survivors, incarcerated prisoners, African-American civil rights activists and Iraqi doctors are among the 86 visionary artists to be featured.”

Unfortch the AVAM doesn’t allow pics inside and I forgot my pen so I couldn’t write down specific artists and I totally thought I would remember the names but obviously have not. There were a few pieces by an Iraqi doctor – he had worked under Saddam Hussein – his pieces were sort of surreal; my favorite was a human body (sort of) that had a cage in the torso and most of the head. I believe there was also a sharp metal rod piercing (or holding together) the two legs (looked like a giant staple). I remember in his little bio he said that as a doctor he couldn’t give life back to his patients and could only compete with death. Plus, working for Hussein no doubt meant being on guard at all times – even before reading about him you could see in his work the sense of trapped-ness, torture and fear. There were also several less-than-uplifting pieces by Civil Rights activists and Holocaust survivors.

About halfway through Chris went to go sit somewhere else because he couldn’t take any more – some of the pieces were pretty painful. It’s hard for me to figure out how to word this so stick with me: while I don’t enjoy seeing other peoples’ pain, I do find it really amazing that they were able to find a way to express what they were feeling, even if they were never able to escape whatever their circumstances were. There is something really beautiful and strong about channeling yourself into a piece of art (whether you consider it a work of art or not), rather than just lying down and dying. I guess I’m glad they were able to find a way to talk and I’m glad I’m there to listen. I always leave the museum feeling a little more tender towards my fellow human beings.

Some of the stuff was less political – there were some yarn pieces by a woman (again, I’m totally forgetting names) who was a high-functioning autistic so she lived on her own but couldn’t really hold down a job. She knit tons of stuff – there was some clothing, but also huge yarn masks (one looked like a horse head). Her family threw it away when she died but I guess some wandering museum curator saw it and dug it out. This exhibit is the first time it’s been shown, apparently.

I wish I had pictures or something but no photography allowed and nothing is online. And I can’t remember any artist’s names. I’m useful!

the video that never was

I was trying to make a video of me going through my various journals (based on the relative popularity of this pic, which I was going to update) but it is not meant to be. I think I’ve recorded it like 5 times, but my digital camera is…. not a video camera, so I don’t get a lot of takes and I ramble too much and then it runs out of space and/or battery. Even after severe editing I’ve only whittled it down to 20 minutes. And, I mean, I feel like my rambling is all part of my charm. If I cut all that out I may as well make a static blog entry instead that contains no random tangents about octopuses.

Anyway, I’ve been trying to find videos that are like…film….journals… not actual video diaries (talking into the camera about your day), but the art journal equivalent. As in, diary is to art journal as video diary is to … video art journal. That makes no sense. But I’m sure I’m not the first person to think of it. If you think you know what I’m talking about please refer me to something. :)

I guess I’m sorta thinking of Tarkovsky (the “poet of cinema”), whose films – particularly Mirror – always evoke some sort of indescribable emotion in me. I guess it’s kind of that “show, don’t tell” thing.


(I don’t know why, but I loooove that scene where the trees rustle in the wind. It feels like one of my own memories)

Or maybe something a little more avant-garde:

So, you know, like that. How hard can it be right? :P

relevant to my interests

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. … No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”

Martha Graham, from The Life and Work of Martha Graham

I haven’t actually read this book yet, but I came across the quote and really liked it. I know that feeling of “queer divine dissatisfaction.”

I came across it because I was reading about Martha Graham because I was originally reading about contemporary dance because I’m thinking of going crazy and taking contemporary dance class next semester (in addition to ballet) (whew). I was so afraid to take a “real” dance class – which isn’t to say bellydance isn’t real, just that it’s wayyy more laid-back and almost totally lacking in structure – and now that I’ve broken the ice with ballet I just want to take everything ever. Most of it won’t really be applicable to me but I’m a big fan of going outside your box and bringing back things that can inspire you, even if you don’t use them directly.

Incidentally, I think I’m going to ask Santa for a Dance Education Subsidy because this shit is getting expensive.

spaces

I’ve been making a lot of pages like this lately:

wordless

I’m speechless! This is weird because usually the words come first and I tack on an irrelevant image to make it “art journal.” All I want to do now is play with colors and make a mess. I’m leaving spaces open for the words later (there are some left-over letters on here because I originally wrote in this but am re-using it).

So that’s why I haven’t been posting pages lately. I’m sure that many new ones will all coming flooding in at once – that’s usually how it happens anyway.

I finally received my sketchbook for the Sketchbook Project (registration is closed but they have a lot of other cool things to participate in). My theme is “Space.” I should just be a jerk and cut a hole through the whole book and send it back. But no, I think it would be more fun to actually try and illustrate a few. Then I can cut a hole through the pages I don’t feel like filling. ;)