Yeah, I’m one of those people who listens to Tori Amos, so what wanna fight about it? I get why she annoys some people, and to be honest she annoys me sometimes too (especially considering how blah her last 3 albums have been). BUT she will always occupy a very special place in my heart because she had a pretty big impact on me, which is a little embarrassing to admit but there it is. I went to her concert on Saturday where she basically reminded me why I liked her in the first place – she looked like she was having a great time and seemed totally present; it was awesome.
I encountered her for the first time when I was maybe 12 or 13?, right at the beginning of that angsty teen phase, which I think had a lot to do with it. But I think it was also just a good fit – I love piano and I love her at times obtuse lyrics (in recent albums the piano has taken a backseat and her lyrics have been kind of bland/obvious, which is probably why we’re drifting apart).
I love the idea of a song (or any piece of art) as a type of puzzle and entity unto itself. She refers to her songs as her “girls” and acknowledges that once they are out in the world she loses control over what they will become (as each listener will interpret the same song differently). She also often talks about “sonic shapes” when discussing how she writes her songs – I thought it was metaphorical, but I read in some interview (can’t remember where it was) that the only reason she doesn’t DRAW the shapes is because she can’t draw, so she converts them to music. So I guess these are literal, visible things that float through her window (or wherever).
Just because I can’t write songs sometimes doesn’t mean the creative force isn’t going. It’s cheating on me, it’s with Jewel.
I do believe that creativity is boundless and accessible by all (you can call it some kind of divine force if that’s what you believe). I also believe that each work has a life of its own (some have more personality than others). Many times I’ve started to make something and it has ended up completely differently than when I started, and it’s because it wanted to be that way. I made it but I didn’t necessarily have total control over the process.
I understand how this might sound loopy/ridonkulous to some people, but being able to say “IDK it comes in my window and tells me to make it lol” frees you up a great deal and I think also acknowledges the source of things (which not everybody believes, but for the purposes of this blog post we’ll stick with it). The idea of being connected to something larger that is constantly moving and growing – as opposed to focusing your creativity within your finite self – is something that has influenced the way I operate in the creative realm which spills over into regular life. It’s hard to tell if I was influenced by Tori or if I already believed it and was attracted to her for that reason; probably a combination.
There’s room for everybody on the planet to be creative and conscious if you are your own person. If you’re trying to be like somebody else, then there is isn’t.
Plus there’s the fact that she is totally weird in her interviews and her lyrics aren’t always easy; despite all this, she has a decent following and owns like three houses and personal studio, etc., so there is material success as well (which shouldn’t be a goal but is nice to have!). At first she tried to do the 80s rock thing (with hilarious/terrible results) but then went with what she actually wanted to do and it worked. So there’s a lesson in the Importance of Being Yourself.
So there. I get why some people don’t like her but she’s been sort of important to me (I’ve had to boil it down a lot so this entry didn’t go on for years and years). Her music has been somewhat of an anchor for me and of course she’s been a huge creative influence (I definitely tried to imitate her style in my poetry back when, with hilarious/terrible results). Despite the latest albums, I will continue to buy them and attend her concerts. I’m not the only one with a weird relationship with her – I recently heard about a woman who is writing her dissertation on “how women have formed emotional/healing relationships with [Tori's] music” and she is blogging the process. I am interested to see what develops!
orchards are simple a peach tree says “some of me will be juicy and some of me will be dry. i’m not growing for you. i grow because that’s what i do” you always hear some person complain about how dry their peach is and the peach says “it’s not our fault you have no understanding on the proper use for dry peaches”
- From the Under the Pink songbook
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